THE CAT

One day this crazy psycho, named Ed, died and went down to the Underworld. While he was there, he started building a crazy monster that had a head of a snake, many legs, and a slimy green tail.
When it was finished, the thing terrorized the whole Underworld. Souls hated it there and started leaving. The monster also started stealing Hades's money and was scraping up the floor. Hades finally had to something.

The next day Hades went up to Mount Olympus and told Zeus what was happening.
"Zeus," he exclaimed, "This monster is ruining the Underworld." "People are not coming any more and are just lying there dead."

"Oh my gosh," said Zeus. "We have to do something."

"Yeah," said Hades, "That's what I was thinking."

"Hades," Zeus said calmly. "I think I know what to do," "It will be difficult but what we have to do it."

"Oh no not that," shrieked Hades.

"I'm sorry but it looks like we have to unleash THE CAT!" Zeus said in fear.

The Cat was a mutant kitty that had been created in an experiment. The experiment was made to try to make a goldfish but for some reason it made a cat. It was 5 billion times the size of a normal cat and it had 3 tails. The Cat was very cute and colorful, but had razor sharp claws. It attacked only the evil and needed large amounts of lasagna to survive. Since there is not enough lasagna in the world, The cat makes its own inside its body.
"But Zeus," said Hades, "how are we going to fit it down there. It's so huge."

"Where there's a will there's a way," said Zeus excitedly.

"But, Zeus," replied Hades, "See those sharp claws, they'll mess up the floor."

"The floor is already scratched up," replied Zeus. "Nobody will notice."

"Okay," said Hades, who was disappointed. He was covered in sweat and shivering in fear of The Cat. Unlike Hades, Zeus actually liked The Cat because it was interesting and could destroy things.

Once they reached the Underworld, Zeus and Hades realized how small the opening to the Underworld was.

"Opano Potene," said Zeus and the opening suddenly grew bigger.

"Hummpf, showoff," whispered Hades under his breath.

"What was that?" asked Zeus angrily.

"Nothing," said Hades.

"Okay."

"Huh. This is taking a while. Omopo glufo," said Hades proudly. The road became shorter and they quickly neared the entrance.

"Finally," said Zeus as if it had taken forever.

When they arrived in the Underworld, they saw that things had gotten worse. The monster had started eating some of the souls and had scared off Cerberus, the guardian of the Underworld. Even the Erinyes couldn't stop Ed's monster. Then in a wink of an eye, The Cat was off to work.

First, it caught the monster and balled it up. The monster then struggled free and lashed out at The Cat, but the Cat swiftly balled him up again, this time with its claws. Then as quick as lightning it ran up to the entrance to the Underworld and hurled it across the sky into the area of water that we now call the Bermuda Triangle. The next thing The Cat did wasn't as mean. The Cat first dug its claws into the wall and pulled it open, forming another room. Then, it grabbed Ed and placed him in there with nothing and sealed the room up. The Cat gave Hades the special key to the room.

The final thing The Cat did was truly the best. The Cat quickly went outside, grabbed 80 trees, carved them down to wooden planks, and nailed them down on the floor of the Underworld, forming a new, majestic wooden floor.

Afterward, Zeus took The Cat back to Mount Olympus after saying good-bye to everybody in the Underworld. On Olympus, the gods held a ceremony for The Cat and its bravery. Zeus then gave the Cat a medal of honor and a special place with the gods. The Cat was made the Royal Guardian of the earth. Never again did anybody make trouble in the Underworld.

LEDA

In Memory Of LEDA
we miss you

Big Talk

Warning: All of the following is fiction.

Once upon a time there was dog named Lego. Lego was a small, grayish German Shepard with to big of a head. Unlike most dogs that are just ignorant, Lego's IQ is about the same as eggplant. He was so stupid because he talked so much, even when nobody was listened.



One day when he was walking home from Petsmart a blue fairy appeared in front of him. "Hello," said the fairy. "I was sent here by the big chief fairy to tell you to shush up!"Lego didn't understand so he grabbed the fairy and ran into his house. When he got to his room he stuffed the fairy into a cage. Lego was so happy because he finally had someone to talk to, the fairy. He talked day and night about dumb stuff, such as how to sleep without wetting the bed and when to hug the teacher. The fairy thought it was torture. One day she got an idea.She did not eat anything for a couple of days, squeezed between the bars of the cage, and casted a spell to turn Lego into a mute, ugly carpet.

The End

The Cat-a-clopes

"Putter, putter, putter," stuttered the rocket. Everyone was silent. Abruptly, the cats shot upward in the rocket. They were finally on their way.

They were going to another planet called Gilese 581c. Gilese 581c is near a red dwarf star. It is possible for alien life there. They thought the rocks there had the cure for Feline Leukemia.
Everybody was scared, especially Leda. Leda, the driver, was grayish with orange ears and she had half a tail. She was 11 years old and was usually very scared. She cuddled up next to Tiny. Tiny was a three month old calico. She was one of the scientists on board, and she had a lot of courage.

"Get up," said Captain Domino. "Don't be a scaredy-cat.""Ok," said Leda. Domino was four years old. He had a brown body, black tail and ears, and a white belly and paws. He was a little bossy.
Just then they felt a bump, then a bigger bump, then an even bigger bump. Then right after the last bump they shot straight forward. Everybody flew back in their seats. Finally they slowed down. Bud came out of the back room. "What was that?!" he asked. Bud was black and had white on his paws, nose, and belly. He was 13 years old and very fat. He was usually very nice.


"Sorry," said Leda. "We were just breaking through earth's atmosphere and we needed a little bit more force." "Where is Tiny?"asked Bud. "I don't know," said Domino. "There she is," said Leda. There she was flat on the floor. "What happened?" she asked. "You must have fallen when we shot through the atmosphere,"said Bud.

"Captain Domino, come quick," screamed Leda. "What is it?"Domino asked. "I think I see planet Gilese 581c ahead," exclaimed Leda. In front of them was the planet. It had a beautiful color that none of the cats could describe. It was about five times bigger than Earth.

"What are you waiting for, let's land!" hollered Tiny. "Ok, just hold your horses,"said Leda. Suddenly they zoomed downward.

When they eventually landed, they got out. They didn't see anything. They only heard a "Tap, Tap, Tap" coming from the distance. "Hello, anybody there?"Bud called. Nobody answered. Just then they heard a faint "Hi"come back from the distance. "Who is that?" asked Domino. "And where are you?" Domino asked again. "I'm down here!" said the voice.

Everyone looked down. On the ground was a cat. Well, it wasn't really a cat because it had only one eye, it was a purplish color, and it was little.

"What are you?"asked Leda. "My name Lucy and I am a Cat-a-clops," it answered."But, but," Leda said, "Cat-a-clopes aren't real. The word isn't even in the dictionary." Leda was shaking all over. It even looked like she was going to cry because she was so scared. "For the second time today, don't be a scaredy-cat." yelled Domino. "Don't mind her, Lucy. Anyway, my name is Domino, that's Tiny, that's Bud, and the scaredy-cat is Leda." Lucy nodded her head.

"Why are you here anyway?" asked Lucy. "We are looking for a cure for Feline Leukemia, and we think it may be found in your planet's rocks because they look different than ours," said Bud. "So we came here to take some." "What's Feline Leukemia?" asked Lucy. "It is a disease that cats get," said Tiny. "It is incurable so far, and many cats die from it every year."

"But you need to get permission from the king to take some of the rocks because he lives on top of the only pile of them, so he says they're his," said Lucy. "He also counts all of them every time someone visits so he knows if you take some, and if you did take some he'd kill you. "Why does he do that?" asked Tiny. "I mean they're only some dumb rocks.""Please take us to the king," requested Leda. "Ok," said Lucy.



So they followed Lucy. It took a while. When they reached the mountain, everybody stared in awe because the mountain looked like it was 1,000 miles tall. "Do we really have to climb that thing or is there an elevator?" asked Bud. "No elevator," said Lucy. "I think it's cool," said Domino. "I thought you were bluffing when you said he lived on rocks." Then when nobody was looking, he snatched a handful and put it in the pocket of his space suit.

Finally they arrived. "Where is the king?" asked Domino impatiently. "He should be here any minute now," said Lucy. They waited. Eventually the king came.

He had one eye and was a grayish color. And surprisingly he was even ruder than Domino.
"What do you want?" he yelled. "Please sir, may we have a couple of your gold rocks to help cure a disease on our home planet?" asked Leda in her sweetest voice possible. "You think I want to help you? Never!" screamed the king. "Yes sir," sobbed Leda. "Good, NOW GET OFF MY MOUNTAIN!" hollered the king. Everybody was scared as they raced off the mountain.

By the time they got all the way down they were so out of breath they could hardly talk. "He was mean," said Tiny who had tears running down her face. "I can't wait till we get home," said Bud.
Finally, when they saw the spaceship they had to say good-bye to Lucy. As they got closer toward the spaceship, Domino looked behind him and saw the king and his guards running after him and he remembered he took the rocks. "Quick," Domino yelled, "Get in!" "Why," asked Tiny. " Look," yelled Domino and he pointed to the king and his army racing after them. "What did you do?!" yelled Tiny. "I stole some rocks because I thought she was lying," he yelled. "Now just get in."

Everybody was rushing to get in because the king was only ten yards away. When they all got inside, Leda hit the gas and in no time they were on their way home.


The End

Tiny with the Pies

All of the following is Fiction.

One day in the house of the cats', Black was bored. He didn't have anything to do. Then Fuzz came up to him and asked "What do we have to eat?" "I don't know," said Black. Then he got an idea.
He decided that he was going to make pies. So he rushed off to the kitchen, without a word. When Black got to the kitchen Tiny was there. "What are you doing?'' she asked. "I'm going to make pies for everybody." said Black. "Why?'' asked Tiny. "I don't know. It is just something fun to do, said Black. Do you want to help?" "Sure, said Tiny. I'll make drinks." So they got to work.
"I 'm finished," said Tiny. "Great, said Black. May I see it?'' "Sure," said Tiny. Black looked in to it. It looked horrible. "What did you put in this?" asked Black. "I don't know, said Tiny. I just put in stuff that looked good." "Maybe we don't need drinks,"said Black. "O.k." said Tiny. Then she dumped the drink in to the trash.

A couple minutes later the pies were all done.
"Yum,said Tiny. They look good. How many are there?" "One for everybody," said Black. "May I eat mine now?" Tiny asked. "No wait for everyone else; then you can eat,'' he said "O.k.,'' said Tiny . But she did just opposite.
When Black left to tell the others she looked at the pies. As she looked more and more it made her mouth water. Soon she couldn't resist it . So she leaped on top of the pie. Fortunately it was the one for her. When Black came back he saw three pies. One was missing. "Tiny!" he shouted. Tiny came . "Did you eat a pie?" he asked calmly. "Yes, ''she said with tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying," he asked. "You are angry at me,"she said. "No I'm not,'' said Black. "Yeah!, said Tiny. Does this mean I can have an extra pie." "No,'' said Black. And they all lived happily ever after.



THE END!